Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A Father's Letter


Dear Madelynn & Emily,
As I write this, I’m sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. Mom texted me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what she meant. And now that I’m sitting here, I’m beginning to agree with her. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like:
Affordably gorgeous,
Infallible,
Flawless finish,
Brilliant strength,
Liquid power,
Go nude,
Age defying,
Instant age rewind,
Choose your dream,
Nearly naked, and
Natural beauty.
When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won’t see her that way. They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they’ll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.
But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father’s words can deliver his daughters through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty.
A father’s words aren’t different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning:
Brilliant strength. May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heart. May you discern in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.
Choose your dreamBut not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.
NakedThe world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your glovesoff. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon.
InfallibleMay you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace—for yourself, and for everyone around you.
Age defying. Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit.
Flawless finishYour finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.
Madelynn & Emily, you both love everything pink and frilly and we will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But Mom and I pray three words will remain more important to you—the last three words you say every night, when we ask the question: “Where are you the most beautiful?” Three words so bright no concealer can cover them and even though Mom is not with us right now, we both ask this question after we say our prayers.
Where are you the most beautiful?
On the inside.
From our hearts to yours,

Mom & Dad

1 comment:

  1. this is very deep and it made me think alot about the stress that the media and pictures of celebertys that look "perfect" this not only makes girls want to look good, but also guys, we are expected to be strong and muscular with no body fat and perfect abs, in reality only 10% of guys might look like that, people arnt perfect and the media shouldnt portray them that way

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