Thinner, Sexier, Hotter: 3 Ways to Help Your Daughter Resist Media Pressures
How do media messages impact your daughter?
How many times have you heard your daughter singing along to a popular song on the radio and innocently belting out the kind of lyrics that would otherwise get her sent to her room? In the moment, you believe (desperately want to believe!) that she is unaware of the innuendo and unaffected by its explicit content. But messages embedded in song lyrics, along with video imagery, and advertisinginfluence do have an impact on the ways girls think about themselves and their relationships with others. Without having to resort to a full-on pop music ban or complete shunning of media, you can help your daughters-and other young girls-become aware of media messages that violate values and degrade girls:
Music Lyrics
The next time your daughter is singing along to a catchy tune with questionable lyrics, use the opportunity to ask her questions like:
• What do you like about his song?
• How do you feel when you listen to it?
• What is it about?
• Have you ever watched the music video for this song?
• Did the video storyline match the words?
• How did the video make you feel when you watched it?
• How were the actors/dancers in the video dressed?
When young girls get in the habit of asking themselves questions about what they are hearing, seeing, dancing to day after day, and singing out loud, they develop a protective measure of insight and control over ubiquitous media messages-rather than the other way around.
Models of Perfection
The next time you and your daughter are browsing magazines or watching entertainment news on TV, strike up a conversation about how popular advertisements and celebrity photos often bend the truth and trick consumer into seeing things that do not really exist.
Ready for the school year's first vocabulary pop quiz? Ask your daughter to define the term "airbrushing." Explain the concept with the emphasis that some media images use airbrushing to trick girls into believing that "perfection" exists. Explain that when girls take in these messages without questioning them, they can begin to feel badly about themselves, worrying that they don't measure up to impossible standards.
To illustrate, check out the "Dove Evolution" video, available on YouTube or by typing "Dove Campaign for Real Beauty" into an online search engine. This brief clip shows the transformation of an everyday-looking woman into a billboard-ready supermodel. It can be a great discussion tool for showing young girls how it takes an army of professionals to transform one person into "model-readiness." What's more, even with a whole team of hair and make-up artists, the model still needs digital alteration before her image is projected to the world.
"Dove Evolution" is a great visual reminder for kids that seeing should never be believing when it comes to the images in the media. The most important takeaway point of this film and mother-daughter discussion is to encourage your child to feel good about exactly who she is and not to compare herself to media images that are neither real nor attainable (without a team of professionals and digital alteration.)
Clothing and Toys
Children and tweens are the target market for airbrushed images and sexualized products of all kinds, everyday. As way to create awareness in your impressionable youngster, set aside some time with your daughter to browse through store catalogs or walk through toy store aisles. Encourage her to take note of the types of outfits and toys that are available for kids her age. Ask her to share her thoughts on which items represent "real" girls engaged in everyday activities vs. which show girls in age-inappropriate outfits, wearing adult make-up, or doing things you couldn't imagine a girl your child's age doing. Tally the number of items that represent "real" girls versus those that represent unrealistic products for kids her age. How do the numbers compare? What does this tell her?
When your daughter has this interactive experience of seeing how kid-friendly "kid-products" actually are, she gains practice in becoming an engaged, critical thinker. What's more, she takes important steps to being an empowered consumer who can resist the pressures of unrealistic imagery.
Music Lyrics
The next time your daughter is singing along to a catchy tune with questionable lyrics, use the opportunity to ask her questions like:
• What do you like about his song?
• How do you feel when you listen to it?
• What is it about?
• Have you ever watched the music video for this song?
• Did the video storyline match the words?
• How did the video make you feel when you watched it?
• How were the actors/dancers in the video dressed?
Be sure to convey your genuine interest in her music and opinions rather than coming across as an interrogator. You will be walking a fine line between showing interest in her world and "judging" her taste in music. As long as you can resist the urge to lecture, there can be almost limitless potential for talking about pop music and videos of the day, from lead singers to their fashions, to the messages they are trying to convey, and so on. Let your daughter take the lead.
The goal of this conversation is not to condemn your daughter's taste in music and videos. Rather, asking her to evaluate the lyrics and video images can help her become a more informed consumer and better critical thinker when it comes to awareness of the media influences that surround her on a daily basis.When young girls get in the habit of asking themselves questions about what they are hearing, seeing, dancing to day after day, and singing out loud, they develop a protective measure of insight and control over ubiquitous media messages-rather than the other way around.
Models of Perfection
The next time you and your daughter are browsing magazines or watching entertainment news on TV, strike up a conversation about how popular advertisements and celebrity photos often bend the truth and trick consumer into seeing things that do not really exist.
Ready for the school year's first vocabulary pop quiz? Ask your daughter to define the term "airbrushing." Explain the concept with the emphasis that some media images use airbrushing to trick girls into believing that "perfection" exists. Explain that when girls take in these messages without questioning them, they can begin to feel badly about themselves, worrying that they don't measure up to impossible standards.
To illustrate, check out the "Dove Evolution" video, available on YouTube or by typing "Dove Campaign for Real Beauty" into an online search engine. This brief clip shows the transformation of an everyday-looking woman into a billboard-ready supermodel. It can be a great discussion tool for showing young girls how it takes an army of professionals to transform one person into "model-readiness." What's more, even with a whole team of hair and make-up artists, the model still needs digital alteration before her image is projected to the world.
"Dove Evolution" is a great visual reminder for kids that seeing should never be believing when it comes to the images in the media. The most important takeaway point of this film and mother-daughter discussion is to encourage your child to feel good about exactly who she is and not to compare herself to media images that are neither real nor attainable (without a team of professionals and digital alteration.)
Clothing and Toys
Children and tweens are the target market for airbrushed images and sexualized products of all kinds, everyday. As way to create awareness in your impressionable youngster, set aside some time with your daughter to browse through store catalogs or walk through toy store aisles. Encourage her to take note of the types of outfits and toys that are available for kids her age. Ask her to share her thoughts on which items represent "real" girls engaged in everyday activities vs. which show girls in age-inappropriate outfits, wearing adult make-up, or doing things you couldn't imagine a girl your child's age doing. Tally the number of items that represent "real" girls versus those that represent unrealistic products for kids her age. How do the numbers compare? What does this tell her?
When your daughter has this interactive experience of seeing how kid-friendly "kid-products" actually are, she gains practice in becoming an engaged, critical thinker. What's more, she takes important steps to being an empowered consumer who can resist the pressures of unrealistic imagery.
Majority of kids see all this advertising and it makes children want to grow up faster, expecially girls. Girls try to fit in with the fashion they see and the body image they someday want. Parents need to encourage there child to be who they really are, not who they wanna look like.
ReplyDeleteI feel young girls try to see what's popular with the older kids and often times that lead them into the bad examples. Companies take advantage of that and start targeting the younger kids.
ReplyDeleteI have personally seen in school that kids try to act just like the olderr girls. This is horrible in some ways. Some young kids turn into little "sluts". No parent wants this.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for kids to fight negative influences because that's what they have for role models in the media. You rarely see Katy Perry or Britney Spears fully clothed.
ReplyDeleteIt makes you think, what's wrong with that parent. Why can't they control their kid or why would they allow them to wear/do that?
ReplyDeleteYes i agree with you boots, alot of what kids want to look like or act like they see on the televisions. Parents need to observe what there kids are watching, cause there are alot of bad things out there, on tv or the innernet.
ReplyDeleteSome kids are sneaky and change when they come to school and add make up and a change of clothes so the parents are not able to see there child.
ReplyDeleteEven with all the Halloween costumes recently out, it was hard to find a costume that was school appropriate and those costumes were meant for tweens/teenagers.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this, i think parents should definently ask their kids these questions because i wish mine had when i was younger it would've saved alot of my time wasted over stressing over how i look.
ReplyDeleteYoung girls are still trying to find who they really are, with all of these things they see effect them as a person because they think that who they really are isn't what people want.
ReplyDeleteYes they are, Blondie. That's where school needs to kick up their strictness if they aren't doing that already. (with the clothing thing that is)
ReplyDeleteHalloween is a horrible part of the year when kids see all these innaporiate costums and want to be just like all the other kids they see. Most of the people they see are college kids and these young adults are horribley dressed.
ReplyDeleteI agree twizniz, it would of added alot less stress. Most kids today take forever trying to make themselves look so hot.
ReplyDeleteMaybe being more strict on the way kids dress, they will want to rebel even more.
ReplyDeleteBellaDancerella, Such insightful words! And those images and influences they face end up shaping them, even if it's not who they want or are supposed to be.
ReplyDeleteWhen parents take there kids shopping, you can have control over what they buy and not be bossy so your child doesn't want to rebel. You can find lots of cute clothes out there with it not being innaprotate
ReplyDeleteWhen you're young, it seems people want to attract attention. Good or bad, they just want it. Those skimply little outfits attract the attention, but not the kind of attention people should want to have.
ReplyDeleteohhhhh booots! i try! Totally taking these images and stuff out of their lives would make them more curious. they should know that being themselves is the right thing to do and to not pretend to be something they are not.
ReplyDeleteYes i believe they should be able to see it, but moniter it and talk with your children. I remember the dayd of wanting to look cute but i think as the generations move by the younger kids are getting worse and parents barely parent.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's good to apove your childrens clothing before they buy it instead of sending them out in the mall to get whatever they want. Who knows what they'll find, there's obviously items out there that are not appropriate.
ReplyDeleteYes parent approvel needs to be there. You can expose it to children. Not all children will rebel if your just giving them boundaries.
ReplyDeleteI think the biggest problem is that parents aren't stopping their kids because other parents are letting their kids do it so it must be ok.
ReplyDeleteNot only are the clothing options out there bad influences, what about the music. "I'm Sexy and I know it"? "Pumped up Kicks"? "Cheers" These songs might have great beats but if kids are actualy listening to them we have a problem.
ReplyDeleteMany parents are lazy parenter and just look at what other parents are doing with there kids.
ReplyDeleteThat does ahppen a lot, Zebra. You hear parents asking "Well is so and so's parents letting them do that". Often times if the one parent is the other will give in. They can't rely on each other to be the bad cop, someone has to step up.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's that they are lazy they just don't want to be the "bad" "strict" parent.
ReplyDeletePumped up kicks is a horrible song once you look at the lyrics of it. Its pretty much saying im gonna kill you and you need to run becuase you ahve great shoes and are rich and can have whatever you want. Sexy and i know it, brings up being full of youself and the girls want the thin, sexy, and toned body type.
ReplyDeleteOr they want to be their child's "friend"
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of parents that want to be their kid's best friends.
ReplyDeleteSome people think music doesn't affect them but it does. Theres a lot of people that listen intently to songs and use them as anthems to their lives.
ReplyDeleteBut nowadays where can you find decent music? For us that are religious we can turn to that music but what about others? Christmas Music?
ReplyDeleteI completely see that. Thats what alot of the problems come down to. Parents need to be parents , they have had there stage of being young let there kids be young and you parents your kids.
ReplyDeleteJingle Bells, Jingle Bells...Jingle all the way.....I don't know zebra. There could be negative messeges flowing through that too..
ReplyDeleteThe movie Mean GIrls poluted "Jingle Bell Rock"
ReplyDeleteoh christmas tree, oh christmass tree how UGLY are your braches.. could be taken bad.. or made bad haha.. stupid i know..
ReplyDeletehahahaha skeptical are we? In reality though we're getting messages from the media from all sides and a lot aren't positive.
ReplyDeleteI think that parents need to watch what they by their younge kids. if they by them reveling cloths then they are going to wear them. it doesnt matter how much they through a fit of say "your the worst mom/dad ever" they will get over it and thank you in the long run. And pay atention to the media that they are using, if its inappropriate then block it or just change the channel when they put it on and NO TV OR INTERNET IN ROOMS!
ReplyDeleteI think parents should be more aware of what their kids are seeing. Monitor their decisions and what they're watching or reading and knowing how their kid would react to certain messages.
ReplyDeleteParents need to start out monitering what there kids are doing at a young age. There are alot of messages on tv/movies that they see when there young and can effect some kids.
ReplyDeleteA lot of parents just allow them now to read and watch. This is really evident when little kids are seeing rated R movies at the tender elementary ages.
ReplyDeleteI don't think parents are thinking about how their kids will be effected by the things they watch and hear.
ReplyDeleteo mercy brings me back to elem when she wanted to be her and he wanted to be him. it was halloween every day
ReplyDeleteI agree that parents need to watch their children and what they watch. If they find it a little desterbing or anything than why are they letting their kids watch it. THEIR ARE RATINGS FOR A REASON!!!! HELLO PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!
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A lot of girls see really thin girls and think that they want to be like them. It is important to be healthy, but some girls take it too far and develop an eatting disorter
ReplyDeleteyoung girls whatch shows like jersey shore and other ones were girls drink and magically all the boys want the girl. Girls are to young to realize what they are really trying to do.
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